The Zeppo And The Beast
by Jessica Knorr
Summary: Xander and Angelus switch bodies. Can Xander convice Buffy that he's who he says he is before she stakes him?
1. The Save

The Zeppo And The Beast

© Jessica Knorr, 1999-2001

[slayer_2000_@hotmail.com][1]

[www.geocities.com/Area51/Quadrant/6706][2]

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RATING: PG 13

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CONTENT: Violence, language. Standard "_Buffy_" stuff. 

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SPOILERS: You can bet there will be a couple for "_Passion"_, and the second season up to that. This rewrites said episode, and starts just after Angelus killed Jenny's computer. 

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SUMMARY: Angelus and Xander switch bodies…to stake Angelus' body would kill Xander. To stake Xander's body would…probably still kill Xander(hypothetically, anyway). What's a Slayer to do?

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DISCLAIMER: Buffy Summers, Xander Harris, Willow Rosenberg, Cordelia Chase, Rupert Giles, Jenny Calendar, Daniel Osborne, Angelus, Spike, Drusilla and everyone else in the _Buffy_verse belong to Master Whedon and crew. I'm only borrowing, will return in condition they were received. Except Spike and Angelus, you _can't_ have them back.

They walked through the dark, deserted halls together. All six. Nothing had been disturbed, as of yet, but after their target paid their leader a small visit earlier that night, she'd had a feeling of dread that something was going to happen, bigger than him telling her mother they'd slept together. Slayer, slayerettes and Watcher fell in step through the caliginous school. Cordelia shivered slightly, Xander held his arm around her shoulder. Willow and Oz, recently declared a couple, stalked side by side with various weapons at their disposal. Buffy and Giles, Slayer and watcher, led the way. They stopped suddenly at Buffy's gesture. She prodded her mind through the dim recesses, reaching out.

"There's someone here," she whispered, reaching back to get a stake concealed in her belt. The slayerettes readied their implements and followed behind. All hearts were beating, tense, on alert for anyone or thing that could be waiting to lunge out. There were faint but audible sounds coming from further down on campus. Buffy listened closer, they all strained. There were footsteps, screams and crashes.

"What's going on?" Willow asked fearfully. There was a loud scream and rushed footsteps rang through the corridors. Two sets of footfalls, and another loud scream. There was yet another loud crash, and a figure lit up in the opposite window. Giles' eyes widened behind his wire rimmed glasses at the sight of the woman running. The others gasped at the sight of her pursuer.

"Let's roll," Xander breathed, already circling around to get to her before her stalker did.

***  
  
Jennifer Calendar ran at full speed through the high school, looking behind her every few seconds. Angelus, the vampire stalker who was the one causing her to be in such a panic, was no where to be seen after she'd wheeled the maintenance bin in front of him. Before she could look ahead, she rammed straight into a cold, rigid body. Angelus laughed sinisterly, his game face on and his fangs gleaming in the dull light from outside.

"Jenny," he chuckled, holding her in a death grip. "This is where you get off." He raised his fingers to her mouth to stop her quivering. Then he put his hand on her chin, and just before he fully snapped her neck, something came flying into his mouth, held there. It stank and burned. Garlic.

"Her train isn't slowing down, and you're caught on the tracks," Xander jumped on his back and shoved the stinking herb further into the vampire's throat. Angelus smoked, choked and wriggled in pain. He tried frantically to pull the Harris boy off, but Xander held.

"Xander!" Cordelia screamed. "Get off before he kills you!" Without noticing, his wrist snaked a little close to the demon's mouth. Angelus found this and dug his fangs into Xander, drinking the blood that was mixing with the garlic. Xander screamed in agony and fell back, the herb half bitten in his bleeding hand. Angelus spit out the remaining part and hacked up, coughing, laughing and growling all at once. When he finally righted himself, having given Oz whiplash with his long duster in the process, and glared at the group, Xander's blood still trickling down his chin.

"Oh I'm going to kill every one of you, one by one, like I killed _your uncle_, just for Harris' stupid mistake," Angelus snarled and gave Xander a hefty drop kick in the side of the head. Cordelia tried to grab his leg but he just stepped on her elbow. Buffy ran forward, stake in hand, and plunged down. She caught only air and had a millisecond to counter before Angelus gripped her by the throat, heaved her to eye level and threw her back to Giles and Jenny. Oz and Willow stood by with crosses up, beginning to move forward. Angelus giggled insanely and bared his fangs. He spat once again, trying frantically to get the garlic out.

"Well you should do it quickly, 'cause we're all gonna be around to see you get staked," Xander hissed. The slayerettes turned their heads to the technopagen, who was presently being cradled by Giles, to see if she was all right. Angelus reveled in the thought of killing them all right then but took his chance and retreated. Buffy lifted her head and found his spot presently vacant, the air free of Bad Vibes that he and every other twisted, soulless demon of the Hellmouth threw off. 

"Ms. Calendar," Willow squeaked out, trembling from the presence of the vampire. "What-what were you doing here so late to make…him come after you?"

   [1]: mailto:slayer_2000_@hotmail.com
   [2]: http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quadrant/6706



	2. Freeze Frame

Buffy walked vacuously down through the school the next day. Inside her head she ran over what Jenny had just told them: she'd discovered Angel's cure, to restore his soul. But he'd thrown her computer on the floor and burned the printout. Was it truly possible, to change him back to his old soulful, brooding ego that she'd fallen in love with so long ago? Her thoughts were broken by the presence of the four teens gathering at her sides, her friends, all again with their significant others. Xander smiled weakly to boost the Slayer's moral, his hand and wrist bandaged and clean. Cordelia was fixing her makeup with her compact mirror, and Oz and Willow were their happy-go-lucky selves. The only one of the group who actually looked depressed was herself. They neared the library, and through the window in the door they saw Ms. Calendar and Giles chatting. Buffy put away her thoughts of gloominess, grinned as best she could and entered. Jenny glanced up first. She looked horrible, like she'd been crying non stop since they rescued her the night before. Her eyes were red and puffy and there were circles under them. The handkerchief Giles held to her face was wet as they caught her tears. The watcher patted her back and stood up.

"Ah, there you are. I suppose you've all been…thinking?"

  
"Can it really happen? Did you really find the curse?" Buffy squeaked out. Jenny nodded and took Giles' handkerchief again.

"I-I did. It's on this little yellow disk in my room that I guess he didn't see. We could get it and load it onto Willow's laptop, but I need an…Orb of Thesula. He smashed the one I bought and the guy at the shop probably won't let me have another one because he was hesitant to sell me it yesterday. I'm sorry, this was kind of a plan to get you guys to forgive me…but…" Ms. Calendar sobbed. Willow ran over and wrapped her arm around the computer teacher.

"Ms. Calendar, don't cry. You tried. And we have the disk; all we need is the Orb, right? I could go out after school and get one, he won't suspect it being for the same reason."

"A question," Xander stated. "Why restore his soul? Why bring him back? Next time we see him, stake through the heart; boom he's gone. Was that so hard? If he thinks we still have a heart for him, he'll just keep trying to go after us."

"Xander, I can't believe-"

"That I'm telling the truth? Recall that I haven't liked Dead Boy since we met. And when you are hopping down memory lane on your merry travels, just remember who was the only one there who could have brought you back. He couldn't do it. Because he couldn't breath. And there were only two of us there." Slayer and slayerette glared deeply at each other. Xander turned on his heels and stormed out of the library. 

"Bravo Miss Full of Herself. Now I have to go calm him down. You really have to-"

"Don't you start Cordelia," Buffy turned her eyes to the May Queen. Cordy went out after Xander. 

"I just hope we still have the disk…when I went back to get my purse, the window to the lab was open and there was a book knocked from the top of my cabinet…He may have gone back. And got it." The computer teacher wiped her eyes with Giles' hand cloth and gave it back. "Willow, could you go take over my class this afternoon? I'm going to go home, maybe I can get some sleep knowing he can't get in…" Ms. Calendar slugged her purse over her shoulder. Willow brightened. 

"Right! Good! I get to be substitute, and at the same time I can look for the disk! Two birds with one stone." The bell rang shrilly from outside the door. Buffy grimaced and picked up her books again. 

"English. Paper due. I forgot about it. Why can't I ever use the excuse that I was out all night trying to make sure my ex didn't kill anyone?" the girls and the werewolf disappeared into the hallway, Oz's arm still affectionately draped around Willow.

Jenny stood up from her place and prepared to go as well when Giles caught her arm.

"I want you to be careful," he said delicately. His tone was full of betrayed love.

"I will. I'm just going home. If I'm lucky I'll sleep right through this whole mess. And when it's over my Prince Charming will hopefully wake me up. My total lack of sleep the past few nights is evident, isn't it?"

"Indeed…Jenny, please. Don't go out at night unless you have at least one of us with you or a very large cross at hand. If my journals on Angel are up-to-date, he will stop at nothing once he has a victim in sight…And I must distress that one of my more priceless volumes on witchcraft was stolen last night. It contained a fair amount of powerful magick; time modification, identity alterations, and the sort. No need to be worrying, you, uh, should be off. You look atrocious, not in the offensive way, just, ah-"

"Rupert, I get it. I'm a mess. I'll try to have sweet dreams, and maybe we can all rest a little easier when we get Angel under control." She went to leave but gave him something he wasn't expecting: a heart filled kiss that left a small red smudge on his lips. Jenny hurried out before he could gather himself and process what had happened.

"Oh my…" he stared at the entrance after the technopagen. Then his head clicked; he needed to find that volume and perhaps any new information he could uncover on Angelus.


	3. Ol' Switcheroo

Angelus sat, curled in a chair beside the long main table in the factory, studying the old book of magic in his hands. Spike rolled into the main hall and saw him; a grin crossed his face at the sight.

"Look at the bookworm," he chuckled. Angelus shot a glare in his direction and kept reading. "I take it you didn't kill the gypsy bitch when you had the chance last night?"  
  
"I would have, but the brat and her little posse turned up at the last minute." Angelus still read, ignoring Spike's distressed groan.

"Sooner or later you're going to find out you have to kill the little bitch. You were in her house, why didn't you just gag her or break her mother's neck or something instead of leaving her little presents? Now you can't even get back in."

"There are other ways to skin a cat."  
  
"Could we get a kitty Angel?" Drusilla cooed, coming out of the basement and twirling a piece of her raven hair around her long, black painted fingernail. "A cute little gray one? With big eyes…that mews when it wants milk and to be combed? Sunshine is lonely. She doesn't talk, doesn't move…doesn't touch her kibble or tea…"

"Maybe later," he replied, turning the page of his book. Dru easily made the distance to him and draped her arms around his neck from behind, then started to read over his shoulder. Angelus ignored her as well and shut the volume, the gears in his head churning.

"Care to share why you're grinning like an idiot, or are you going to keep us in the dark?" 

"You'll find out soon enough, Sit 'N Spin. I'm going to go take a nap," Angelus stalked away, leaving his publication closed on the factory table. Drusilla touched it tenderly and began to sway.

"Do you see something luv?" Spike wheeled to her and let the vampiress fall into his lap.

"My Angel is going to play a prank on the mean Slayer…remember when we used to pull pranks Spikey? The villagers always were so frightened, they sprayed icky water on everything…I burned my little hand…"

***  
  
Angelus watched the slayerettes from the back of the Bronze that night. They were all there at their usual table; Oz was playing on stage, and he surveyed as they talked on about something. He figured the objects inside his duster pockets, the yellow disk belonging to Jenny and the book he'd stolen from the library the evening before just prior to him surprising Ms. Calendar in her room. The disk he'd retrieved after being thwarted by Xander. **  
  
**Who, as much as an idiot than ever, was making wide, angry gestures with his hands and emphasizing his words. Buffy yelled something back to him, her eyebrows pointed down with a burning rage. Cordelia shot something back. Willow, always being the ref in their little quarrels, tried to sooth them. Xander stood up with Cordy at his side, and the two disappeared in the crowd. Buffy stormed after them and Willow was left to stare in acceptance that it was hopeless to try to help. Angelus smirked slightly and slipped out into the night after the Slayer.

****

* * *

"I can't believe how selfish you're being!" Buffy yelled into Xander's face outside.

"I'm selfish? I'm not the one who gave the most vicious vampire around a happy!" Xander threw back. Buffy drew away, awestruck at his outburst. "I'm starting to think this is a certain Slayer's fault. If you hadn't made kissy kissy faces at him in the first place and killed him long ago, we wouldn't be in this predicament! You seem to have forgotten his slight history of being a feared murderer."

"_Slight history of being a feared murderer_," Angelus imitated, coming from his place to their right. "Xander, I'm touched. You flatter me. But it's not a slight history, rather a long, drawn out one. And how would you like to be part of it? Oh, Cordelia, Buffy. The two girls I wanted to see the most too. What is it, my birthday or something?" the vampire beamed from ear to ear. "I'm having too much fun with this. But seriously now," he stepped forward within range of the feuding trio. "I think I have something you'd like."  
  
"And what would that be?" Cordy asked, not able to think up anything to add.

Angelus grinned again. "I believe it was on a little disk…a kind of yellow in color, I think." He produced the floppy from his pocket and Buffy's eyes shot wide. "The only copy of my curse is on this little marvel of technology. I guess Jenny was smart enough to make a few of them, right? That's what I hate about teachers; they're all so resourceful. All except Giles, luckily he only had one copy of what I was looking for and it wasn't on a computer. Now, what would you guys do to get your hands on this little trinket?" 

"Keep it," Xander swallowed, his eyes burning with fury. The females as well were speechless as they beheld their adversary. Angelus smile disappeared. His eyes darted between the three.

"Really? Aw, I'd thought you'd want to play along." He dropped the disk to the ground between them. Buffy eyed it but brought her attention to the demon ahead of them.

"What do you want Angel? You're not just going to hand your curse over and not do anything about it. You're up to something."  
  
"Buff, why do you always think I'm playing a trick on you? Maybe I really want you to restore my soul, to change me back to that poor, brooding sap who actually liked it when you touched him. And then maybe I want hell to freeze over before you get the chance to visit…Okay, you're right. I am up to something. But by the time you figure it out, it'll be too late." His arm shot back and he grasped Willow's wrist as she brought the wooden stake down. "Not so fast school girl. I'd thought you'd be bright enough not to try to sneak up on me." He pulled Willow around and vamped out. The net girl wriggled out of his grasp and into Cordelia. Angel laughed insanely and paused. The Slayer drew her weapon from the inside of her short jacket, and he began reciting something in a dead language before she could advance. 

They listened for a few seconds to his chanting. "He's doing the Freaky Magick talk…thing, like what Giles does. What's he saying?" Cordelia sounded panicked as they saw his eyes glow a brighter yellow than normal. 

"It's not Latin…I know that. It's really rapid fire," Willow replied as they began backing away. Angel bared his fangs and continued with his 'freaky magick talk'. 

"I say we start running. Right now," Xander offered. Buffy opened her mouth to respond but there was a deafening sonic boom as a flashing, hot wave blew out of the vampire's glowing eyes and straight over them, knocking all five back into the walls of the buildings around the Bronze.

****

***  
  
Angelus groaned loudly as he revived. It was so dark he couldn't see his hands in front him. He knew he was still alive; he now smelled like garbage and his head pounded worse than it ever had. The Slayer hadn't gotten up. That was a plus. He slowly stood himself up, and with his head in his hands, he stumbled away from the club and the slayerettes. 

****

***  
  
Buffy, Cordelia and Willow arose from various places. Cordelia shrieked as she removed a used pizza box from her head and got up off a bag of rotting vegetation. Willow and Buffy shushed her, unsure of the places of her boyfriend and the vampire. Buffy swept the vicinity and came up with nothing but the yellow disk which had been damaged when Angelus threw it to the ground. 

"Hopefully this isn't too banged up," Willow sighed as she picked up the floppy and inspected it. 

"Xander? Are you still there? I hope you didn't land in anything icky…" Cordelia called out. There was no answer. For a moment Buffy assumed there was nothing in the shadows but the faint tingle a semi unconscious creature of the night would probably throw off, if she ever let one regain its consciousness.

  
"Angel's still there. Maybe we should split before he comes to." Buffy turned to them.   
  
"But what about Xander?" 

"I don't know. We would have found him, right? He probably got up…or he could have been thrown out of the back street. I just know Angel was doing something weird and I don't want to be around to find out what it was for."

"Yeah. He could be like…some all powerful wizard vamp now and he could…blow us up. Or something. Let Xander find his own way home, I still have my May Queen title to fill out!" Cordelia complained. "And I intend to fill it out in one piece!" Buffy scanned the shadows, trying to determine where her sensors were pointing her to. But it was too dark.

"I'm with Cordy. We'll go check in with Giles, maybe he can tell us what's up."  
  
"And we can see if this still works," Willow waved Jenny's computer disk. The girls retreated and hurried to the school.

****

***  
  
Xander moaned. His head was throbbing, more than it had been when he'd hit his head on the ledge inside the broom closet trying to…he stopped his thoughts short. He could see nearly everything, and it was darker out than before. Which meant later at night, when his visibility should be pretty small in shadows like this. He watched three receding figures and heard their voices all the way into the night. It was the girls he'd accompanied out, his best friends and his girlfriend. Xander closed his eyes for a few more seconds and staggered to his feet. There was a weight in the one of his pockets; Xander pulled out an old leathery volume that looked almost like the ones the watcher had scattered around in the library. _Wait a sec… _Since when did he have pockets in his coat? When was he _wearing _a coat? And pants that chaffed so much.

"What the hell is-" he stopped again. The voice was familiar, yet still foreign. As in not his, not the light boyish, joking tone that belonged to Alexander Harris. Rather a deep, venomous, more earnest, manly tone. He began naming off people he knew. "Mom, Dad, Sandra, Lori…Uh, Giles, Willow, Cordelia, Ms. Calendar, Bug lady, Oz…" it definitely wasn't his. Then one name sprung to mind that would probably decide it. "Buffy." The voice _so _did not belong to Xander. It sounded more like…"Dead Boy. Angel." He bolted straight off faster than he ever had, faster than he should have been able to.


	4. Eyes Wide Open

Angelus made his way through the abandoned factory carefully, his vision less then at it's usual quota. *That damn spell, it did something to my eyes.* I just hope dear Buffy won't be too disoriented by her new looks. He smirked and obliviously hit one of the mountains of old crates, sending them crashing all around.   
  
Spike wheeled his chair out of the adjoining room at the other end of the factory but pressed the break halfway over. All he saw was the fumbling, idiot friend of the Slayer trying to get out of a pile of boxes he'd thrown over.   
  
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" the platinum vampire questioned angrily.   
  
"What's wrong, Roller Boy? Get your fingers jammed in your wheels?" Angelus shot, sidestepping the fallen crates.  
  
"You have a lot of nerve challenging me like that, wanker."   
  
"Spike," Angelus paced his way in the dim light and put both hands on the arms of Spike's chair, shoving his face into the vampire's like he always did. "I thought you knew not to insult me. I gave you immortal life…I can take it away just as easily."   
  
Spike pulled back and set his jaw. "I don't know what kind of idiotic joke the Slayer and her half minded little gang are playing, mate, but it's nearly as moronic as the one Soul Boy came up with, switching your girl's body with the bitch's. Now either get out of here, or Dru can have a bedtime snack and Mr. Anima can have another body to leave out as a present." He changed visages and glared through his yellow eyes.   
  
Angelus stood up straight, feeling sluggish and queer. His reduced vision was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg, he recalled how cold the younger demon had felt just now. And he heard the dull drumming in his ears. Almost like beating. He pressed his thumb to his neck unconsciously. There it was. The dull throb. The beating increased as he started to panic. And began to sweat. He looked down for the first time at what he was dressed in; a multicolored plaid shirt and a pair of baggy black jeans. Not his duster, silk shirt and binding leather pants.  
  
Angelus breezed by the wheelchair bound vampire and down to Drusilla's basement room where the vampiress was asleep in the canopied bed, flinching slightly in her dreams, with her numerous dolls piled around. He felt around for the hand mirror she always tried to see her reflection in. He pulled it up by the handle, looking straight into his image copied in the glass. It wasn't the one he'd last seen two centuries before, he knew he didn't look like that. He looked exactly like…Xander. *Oh f-* Angelus screamed louder than he ever had, in life or in death.   
  
Spike spun his wheelchair around and smirked again. "I guess he remembered who he was."   
  
* * *  
  
Xander hadn't remembered when he had run so fast before. He just knew something really freaky was up. And this was beyond the typical Hellmouth stuff. Dead Boy had found something bad in that book and if this was intended to be another leg of his harassment, to throw them off, he was doing a damn good job at driving Xander nuts. Before he realized it, he was dashing down the corridor leading to the library.   
  
"Oh, good. G-man didn't go to bed yet. Well, it's only ten, and he's never in bed before two! Giles!" he severely hoped his voice didn't throw them off. He knew just by looking mainly at his attire he wasn't the same Xander Harris who'd stepped out of the Bronze. Xander threw open the doors and found the ladies with the librarian, and Ms. Calendar, inside. They looked up and instantly pulled up stakes, crosses and crossbow that were on the table.   
  
"Guys, you're here. Listen, that…thing-" Buffy threw him right up against the wall in a crushing grip and pulled the stake back. He struggled to respond but he couldn't breathe with her hand around his throat. She felt him try to bring air in against her palm, but she still pushed harder with the stake poised above behind her head.   
  
"Buffy, just push it down!" Cordelia urged. Xander managed a single shake of his head, but couldn't bring it back to face them. Instead, he was stuck looking at a horrified Ms. Calendar.   
  
"Buff…please…" the Slayer brought the wooden stick further back, ready to push it into his heart. Xander managed a small grin. "You're bruising my breathing pipe thingy-"   
"Good. And I'll be bruising a lot more. What do you think you're doing here?"   
  
"I'm not Angel, you've got to listen. That thing that he did at the Bronze? Well, dunno what it did, but somehow I got stuck in his body."   
  
"Right. One of the oldest tricks. Care to think up a better one, or should I just dust you right now?" Buffy brought the stake down, on course for his undead heart. Xander growled and ran his fist into her face. She dropped the stake before it reached him and reeled back far enough for him to make his getaway, back out the door. Giles ran to Buffy's side and placed a hand on her shoulder. She gingerly touched the spot where his knuckles had connected, a slight imprint from the claddah ring he hadn't taken off indenting her cheek. A mark of the forgone love between vampire and vampire Slayer.   
"Okay, who wants to try to explain that?" Cordelia asked. Willow continued to type away at the computer, completely ignoring her.   
  
"Is that disk all right Willow? Please, dear God…" Jenny crossed her fingers.  
  
"Uh…There! I got it back!" The redheaded hacker beamed. Parts were jumbled and missing, but the Romani parts were otherwise intact. The curse of restoration was back in their possession and the assembled slayerettes let out a sigh.  
  



	5. Kick 'Em When They're...Confused

Angelus stepped out into the morning sunshine for the first time since the day he'd been turned. It was a perfect cliché; birds chirped as they fluttered around, no wind to rustle them out of their nests in the palm trees all down Temptwood Crescent. Mailmen and paperboys went about their business in the residential neighborhood. Husbands kissed wives and children goodbye, off for another day of work at the office with a coffee in one hand and briefcase in the other. He'd broken into Xander's house the night before to find an ugly hag and a fat slob sleeping off hangovers among bottles of assorted alcohol. It reminded him of the Pub in Galway where he'd found himself in the mornings before school, his friends staggering out the front without pants or shirts. He slapped himself before he went off on a flashback; if he didn't know better, he could swear having a soul for 100 years was rubbing off on his bad side.

In Xander's body, dressed in an appallingly gaudy T-shirt which was the only one that didn't make him feel like killing himself and a pair of black jeans, Angelus made his way to the high school with his bag of unfinished homework in hand. He made a note, glancing down once on school grounds, to sneak into the factory and get his leather pants and a shirt that didn't make him look like a clown, or at least his duster so he could wrap the tiny frame up from view. Pulling his head up from his apparel, his eyes instantly fell on the radiant little blonde who'd brought him back. She and her happy little pack of friends sat on a stone bench, laughing away about some inane subject. Giles and the Gypsy walked over to them from somewhere else in the school, as if he were supposed to care. Angelus heard the giggling of the hens behind him and turned around. The little blonde friend of Cordelia and her _other_ little pack of airheads sauntered up in their minis and tossed their hair like the bimbos they were.

"Wow, Xander, I thought you were afraid of clowns. I guess you had to get over your phobia if you wanted to join them," Blondie clucked. The others all laughed so badly it nearly made his eardrums bleed. Angelus could think of a million things better to say to them but shrugged off the mindless attack and headed towards the little Scooby Gang. "Excuse me Harris, I was talking to you. For once. Don't you walk away when I'm dissing you!"

"Gee, Harmony, I hear Macy's has an opening in the Thanksgiving Day parade. You'd be able to pass yourself, or at least your head, off as a pretty good balloon. If you want me to pick up a form for you, just ask." Weak, but he didn't have the time or care to insult the snob. Harmony fumed and marched after him with Cordettes in tow. Even though their main leader was nowhere to be seen, the second in command would not stand back and allow her ego be deflated by some dumb geek who broke the Fashion Code in half over his thick head. She went to tap him on the shoulder when he caught her wrist neatly and twisted, almost to the point of breaking. "Look, you little airhead, I'm not in the mood. Now move or I'll deflate your head with a red-hot railroad spike."

Harmony stood, shock and pain mixing on her ugly, plastic face. He finally let go and stood watching her, eyes smoldering. If Angelus were able to vamp out in this body-after trying several hundred times to do so, in the process ignoring the age-old Wife's Tale that his face would get stuck, he'd made the conclusion that it just was not possible-he'd have done so and gotten the bitch running. But then that would alert li'l Buff to his identity, which wouldn't be the best thing to happen this early in the game.  
  
"Did you just _threaten_ me, Harris?" Harmony stammered, rubbing her wrist. The rest of the Cordettes had run except for two, and he could hear the Scooby Gang coming up behind him. "I'd get off campus if I were you. 'Cause the cops are going to hear about this." She turned on her ten dollar plastic heels and stormed off. Angelus laughed softly and turned to face one more angry mob. Willow and Cordelia flanked Buffy, shock registering on their pretty, pale faces. Buffy's expression was of disgust and shock. Giles and Jenny were both hiding their own emotions but let their confusion shine through like a light through tissue paper, and Oz, the poor little wolf-boy, his face was marred by no emotion or expression. Bright lad, Angelus thought as his eyes connected with Buffy's. _Vampire who becomes a dog three nights a month…could happen. _

"Hey, what's up?"  
  
"What was that about, Xander?" the brave little Slayer asked in her grownup voice, the look he'd given her when he first let her know that Lover Boy wasn't at home any more back on the outside.

"Nothing, just shaking the Silicon Addicts club off my back."

"But you threatened to shove a railroad spike through Harmony's head…a red-hot one," Willow added. "No matter what she's ever said or done to you, you've never done that."

"What's she gonna do, huh Will? Like any of the slayerettes are afraid of a police officer," Angelus snickered. "Cordy can just pretend to like him and he then he's gone." Cordelia, along with everyone else, became very, very ticked off.

  
"That is it!" Cordy walked up to him and slapped him across the face. "Xander, I don't know what's gotten in to you, but you're being an ass…if I see you at any time before my Me Time appointment on Saturday, _I'm_ calling the cops!" Then she about-faced and stalked off. Angelus broke into a grin and watched after her.

"Is she always like that?" he jutted his thumb in her direction, turning to Buffy and Willow.  
  
"What are you talking about, Xander? You're dating her."

"What the hell's gotten into you?" The hacker and the Slayer both said their statements, at the same time. Angelus just shrugged.. Buff wouldn't be a fun play-toy with all these witnesses around. He'd have to do something about them. And that was what lifted his spirits as they walked away as a clique. Only young Janna, the gypsy he narrowly avoided killing thanks to his body's previous inhabitant, remained. She just stood there with her arms crossed over her chest, like she were protecting her heart, the sun glittering off her dark locks that he imagined staining with blood and gray-matter. She looked right into his eyes and dug down deep to his non-existent soul. And as if sensing his hostility and hate for her, she followed like the innocent puppy she was after Ripper.

Angelus rolled his eyes and clucked his tongue several times, looking over the daylit campus. Everything looked so different, so alive, so fresh with the new day, blood mixing with the three A's commonly associated with teenagers; anxiety, adrenaline and arousal. He, of course, couldn't really smell it like he could before last evening, but he knew that at least one was coursing through the entire alumni. *_Time to quench and kill one of 'em_.*

***  
  
Cordelia huffed along through the halls after first period, still steaming from what had happened that morning. Xander hadn't been in English-as if she cared. *_Probably got held back by the Buffinator or called upon to kill some Ick Thing while she was in the bathroom primping her hair…or something like that._*As if she cared.

She rushed along around the school to get to French class-which she'd signed up for only to be able to understand the new nurse her daddy had hired to help her illness-riddled mother. Her eyes were cast on the 200 dollar, brand new Gucci pumps she'd purchased for her mom in the insane hope that she'd be well enough to walk. That's why _she_ was wearing them. And in admiring the shoes and thinking of the past, she slammed right into another student.

"Hey!" she yelled, instantly blaming the accident on the other person. "Watch where you're going, you klutz-"  
  
"Cordy," Xander said. Cordelia looked at her boyfriend, her eyes turning to steel. "Look, what I-"  
  
"You heard what I said," she huffed, and moved to get past him. Xander reached out and gripped her wrist tightly. Cordy twisted around to get out of his grasp but only succeeded in causing herself more pain than he intended.

"-Said," he continued as if she hadn't interrupted him, "this morning, I didn't mean. I had a really bad night after what happened with Dead Boy, and a worse morning. Okay? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel so threatened. Promise not to run if I let you go?"  
  
"Sure," was all that Cordelia had to offer. Xander relaxed his grip on her. They looked at one another again and sighed in unison. "Okay, I forgive you. Now, I have to get-"

Xander grabbed her arm again and, this time, pulled her off of the balcony towards the student lounge. "Hold on a sec," he told her.

"Xander, really, I have to get to class, let me go or you'll regret it, I swear."

"Just a minute, Cordy, can we talk in the closet?"  
  
"Talk? In there? Please, for all I can guess, you just want to grope before Trigonometry." Xander didn't offer a reply to this, he just pulled open the janitorial closet and shoved her in. Cordy fell over the water bucket and tipped it, soaking her dress and pumps. Xander slipped in and shut the door, rendering the closet pitch black. 

"You stupid, clumsy idiot! I'm gonna send you the bill for dry cleaning my outfit, your mom won't be able-" he cut her off again. Not with words, but with his lips. It wasn't the really sloppy kisses she was used to, it was a talented ballet of both their flesh. Whatever Angel had done to Xander the night before, she had to make sure to thank him for it…over the phone while she was in San Francisco. The kisses and touches intensified with each fleeting moment. Cordelia's stomach clenched hard as Xander's lips found their way to her jugular and his teeth nicked the skin over it. She pulled away and tried to see into his eyes in the dark. "That's not funny, Xander."  
  
"Sorry, honey…." he was quiet for a few beats and then kissed her softly again. "How did you ever get to be such a better kisser than me?" he asked against her mouth.

She scoffed and put one hand on his chest to push him away, which she couldn't do. On top of becoming Casanova, he'd also become the Incredible Hulk, or one of those other super-strong freaks from his comic books.

"Oh please," she sent back, savoring the feel of his lips on hers once more. Then she pulled away again. "I'd be a better kisser than you, even if I were dead." Xander found something funny about that as his hands felt their way to her face, cupping it. "What's so funny?"  
  
He chuckled for a little while longer, before replaying, "We'll see who's the better groper when their dead, dear Miss Chase." The voice he used sent a shiver through her body, and it was as if she could feel him sneering through his hands before they twisted her head sharply to one side, her chin resting on the other side of her shoulder.

Angelus continued laughing to himself as he dropped Cordelia's corpse to the watery cement. He straightened his clothes and appearance as best he could, unable to see anything through Harris' obviously human eyes in the dark, and fumbled for the door handle. He put an ear to the door and listened for the bell to announce that second period was starting, and as soon as he was sure that everyone was away, he opened the door and went out, not looking back.


End file.
